I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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