Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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