need another drink. this is the easiest way
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
