so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
