If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
