Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
