But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
