dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
