He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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