Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
