he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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