WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
how drunk are you?
Several
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize