hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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