How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
