You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize