How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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