I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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