I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
