I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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