how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize