did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
