That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
