She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
