It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
