There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
