I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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