i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
