no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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