I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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