its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have aggressive nipples.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
