I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
