Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
