I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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