a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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