dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
