didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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