do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
