last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
