Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
