Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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