cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize