I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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