Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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