Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
