WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize