I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
