3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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