How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
