I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
