That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
