I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
