I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
