I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
