why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
