my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i barfeds in our rink
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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