Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
