its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
