There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
