About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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