guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
